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How do We Get Her to Accept Us as Part of The Family?

Dear Dr. Schwartz,

My son and his fiancee have 2 children together. They had been dating only 6 months when she became pregnant with my first grandson. They wanted to do the right thing so they stayed together. They have gone through many difficult times over the last 3 yrs. One of the biggest issues being our family. His fiancee is extremely jealous of not only me but any contact he has with his sister, and we just don't understand it. She even goes so far as to look at his cell phone account to see if we've had any contact with each other. When questioned about it, she claims she doesn't mind us talking to each other, but it's the timing. She told me I cannot talk to him in the morning or at night because that's their time together.

I recently found out that they get in huge fights over when I call or text even if he calls when she's not around. I feel terrible knowing they're fighting over my contact with him. My son and I had discussed it and decided to have minimal contact with each other, but, it doesn't matter. Once one of us talks or texts each other, she goes crazy...calling him a momma's boy and stuff.

I really feel for him because we were a close family, and now because of the way she acts, we all try to avoid calling or texting him to make his life easier. She doesn't like him watching movies if their are beautiful women in them, he lost all of his friends, she fights him over seeing his side of the family, etc.

We haven't seen our grandsons in 2 months. She will pick a fight on the day they're supposed to come over just to hurt him/us. We always treat her with respect and include her.

What can we do??

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