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Family & Relationship Issues

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Ask Dr. Schwartz
Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Husband's Relationship With His Children

I have been with my husband for 21 years. He has always drank, smoked and worked hard. His drinking always brought about anger and aggression of the verbal type. However, now he is angry all the time although he has stopped drinking as much.

He has no communication with his children unless it's to tell them to do the dishes or clean their room. He is jealous of my relationship with the children who are 20, 17 and 13. He constantly says I am not listening to although he says nobody listens to him. This unfortunately is true as he only talks about himself and his feelings. When I tell him to talk to the children he says he has nothing in common to talk about with them.

Is it going to be helpful for him to get help with communication because he is now 46. Our relationship is almost non existent because he constantly nags about how bad the kids are. Yet, each of the older two have apprenticeships, are fit and happy. The younger is at school and is generally happy.

I thought at this stage in our life it would be nice for my husband and I. Instead, I don't want to talk to him as everything ends up in an argument causing me to make all decisions on my own.

What am I to do? Do you have any advice? I feel like asking him to leave and find his happiness because he doesn't have it at home.

Thank you

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