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Psychotherapy and Mental Health questions

Getting Married, Stepsons With Awful Tempers

I am getting married in June and I wll have 2 stepsons ages 19 and 21. Both of them have awful tempers and get mad at the drop of the hat. However, both are great kids and contribute to the houshold and with rent. My issue is their tempers. They get mad about playing games, they get mad with their girlfriends and they get in fights. I have had a talk with them about it but it doesn't seem to have gone through their head.

Their dad is very supportive of me and has been at the table when we talk and has backed me up.

My issue is what, else can I do because I am NOT their mother. We have built a good relationship and I do not wish to ruin this. But they need to learn how to control their anger. They refuse to seek out therapy.

Their real mother just picked up and left them and I believe that is the real anger that they are dealing with. They have not dealt with that issue at all.

What discipline manners can I help support them and help guide them? I do not wish to be the "nagging" step mom but I know they are out of control with their tempers. I also know they need me and they do come to me and respect me. I just need some guidance in helping them get through this and how to help them control their anger differently.

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