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Ask Anne: Relationship Advice
Ask Anne
Relationship Questions

Did He Or Didn't He?

Many years ago now I became involved with my college professor-mentor (although we were obviously attracted to one another while I was a student, there was no physical contact until I graduated and went on to graduate school in his profession). The relationship went on for many years. He was always ambivalent about it and me: one minute he would be passionate, the next he would tell me that he never cared about me, that we were never more than friends, and that our relationship was all in my head. I would have done anything, said anything or been anything in order to just have him tell me that he loved me. After many stops and starts I finally broke contact with him, married a wonderful man and became a professional success. The Problem: I still think about him much more than I should, and want more than anything for him to tell me that I wasn't crazy -- that he did care about me. He would be happy to be "friends" (I think that he is proud of my accomplishments in our shared field) but refuses to talk about the past, or to in anyway acknowledge that we were ever intimate. Given that my life is really quite good, why does this still matter so much to me?

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Disclaimer

  • 'Anne' is the pseudonym for the individual who writes this relationship advice column.
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